Mother’s Day was fine but Father’s Day broke me.
Little did I know the emotions that I would feel on Father’s Day because one I’m not a man but Father’s Day played a significant role in my pregnancy journey. It was last Father’s Day where we told my family that we were expecting. It didn’t dawn on me earlier that day but it did a little bit later when I had time to think. I was like man just last Father’s Day I so happy to be telling my family that after so long we were finally expecting our first child to now a year later our son is in heaven.
It was just a very emotional day for me because at the same token I wondered how is my husband feeling right now. Thinking is he having the same emotions and feelings that I have. Men grieve a lot differently than women and I understand that so I don’t pry too much and ask my husband. I just let him come to me when he’s feeling a little hurt a little down because that is the type of person he is. I know he still has his moments. It’s something that you don’t really get over. It’s something that you learn to live with. It’s something that regardless it’s not going to change the fact that you still have a life to live.
I just know that I have to remain faithful knowing that God has a greater purpose and I have to follow what he’s designed for me. What it is I don’t know. I’m just living and I’m just continuing my journey to healing. That’s why I titled my page Journey Through Healing because that is exactly what it is.
When you embark on a journey you know you have a mission. You know you have goals but do you know what’s going to come across your path? Do you know what obstacles are going to be in your way? No, you don’t and that is it why I said journey because I don’t know what each day is going to bring. I don’t know how I’m going to feel one day or the next. I don’t know how different situations are going to play out, I just know that I’m going to take every day as positive as it can possibly be because that’s the only way that I can do it.
To live a life that is pleasing and honoring to God and my son. That’s the only way to do it.
Continue to go on this journey with me.