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Life is all about change.

I have learned that life is all about changes. I have learned that you can’t control what happens in your life you can only control how you handle it. Losing Aiden was the biggest wake-up call for me. People always walk around thinking it can’t happen to them but the truth is anything can happen to anyone at any given time. The key is to be grateful every day no matter what life can bring.

One of my biggest changes is my health and I am going to say it over and over again. I let myself go. I look at old pictures of myself and get depressed. I loved the size I was. I loved how my body felt. I loved my energy level. Now, I was younger but that is no excuse. I let people influence me. I had people telling me that I was losing too much weight and I did not look right so what did I do? I stop going to the gym. I stopped working out thinking it wasn’t going to make a difference or it’ll be easy for me to bounce back because I’ve always been an athlete.

Well, 5 years down to the road I found out the truth. I found out once you form a negative habit it is extremely challenging to break. Even today making the changes in my life is hard when I know it is something that I have to do. Especially, when you don’t have the support. Yes, my family is supportive but they don’t work out or make a strong attempt to eating right.  Sometimes, I do feel like I’m on an island all by myself but I can’t focus them to make the changes I want to make in my life.

Mindset is everything! The stronger my mind is the more I know that I can do this. I am doing this for myself and no one else. When you lose a part of yourself you become a selfish but in a good way. You start to put your needs first. Some people aren’t going to understand. I have spoken to many moms that have lost a baby. Some made major life changes, some just adjusted, and some find it extremely hard to live. I fell in all three categories.

At the beginning of my journey, it was hard to live life. It is a devasting experience that I wish no one would ever experience but I know that is not how life works. Then, I went through my adjustment stage. That stage didn’t last long. Currently, I’m at the major life changes stage. Where I quit my job because I knew that it was no longer serving my purpose and that I cannot remain in such a toxic environment and keep my sanity. Each day I just felt myself going back down a tunnel of depression and I never want to go down that tunnel again. I told myself I rather do Amazon, Uber, etc before I ever work for the company again especially after they showed me what I meant to the company after passing me up for a promotion and basically tried to demote me at the same time. (A little side note: since my departure over 8 employees left that program, it’s hard for them to maintain staff, and the position I was overlooked for is still vacant.)

Enough about that, I wish them the best. Now, I can honestly say I’m happy. I have done things that I would have never in my weird dreams do. And one of them is this blog. I’m literally telling my story of the world to see. I have no shame in my life. Each day I become stronger and stronger. I become more confident in the person that I am. I become more confident in my abilities. I have a boldness now that I didn’t have before or maybe I did and it was just buried.

My point is this, life is all about changes. People aren’t going to understand your discussions because they are yours. As long as you feel that it is that right thing for you it does not matter. You keep doing you and I promise you that everything is going to fall in place.

 

journeythroughhealing

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